Dear Heart Rose
Chat rooms were perhaps the first Internet base for social communication. I don't know why people started using nicknames instead of their real names, but it was the case and it caught on ever since. Even with the advent of Facebook and its inherent feature of pushing users towards having to transfer their true identity to cyberspace, many users would still prefer to conceal their real identity or use unreal names as their usernames. Despite all the measures taken by Facebook management and enlightening releases by the groups concerned with security, many of us can't yet dislodge their fear of revealing their true identity or using real information on their profiles.
But this is not my concern now. It's a matter of personal preference in the end. What I'm concerned about now is a matter that is sociolinguistic in principle. Is the use of usernames (or otherwise called nicknames) when talking to other online friends a sign of intimacy (closeness) or an attempt to keep a distance between the communicators? For example, if I'm talking to a girl called Haydee Nash'at, but whose online name is "Heart Rose", using that online name "Dear Heart Rose", would I be in that case trying to show a state of closeness by using this nickname (something that marks intimacy between friends in real life practices)? Or would I be trying to keep a distance between me and Haydee by refusing to use her real name - although I know it?
To be objective I thought I could have some more insights from you here. What do you think?
EA
Comments
I played an online game for several years. I was a national champion. I went on to work for the game company as a volunteer in online community administration. The name I went under as part of that online community is *really* important to me - I associate it with some achievements I'm really proud of, some great memories, a lot of hard work and the odd tear or two. That name is used by a particular subset of my friends, people I met online but some of whom I've since met in real life as well. In fact, some of them are my best friends. They use that name for me in writing and when talking face to face or on the phone. The use of that name - and my use of their online name in return - affirms our shared experiences and history every time we use it. I have friends and family who know nothing about that side of my life, who don't know this other person that that name represents.
Is it because it's a name I chose? Maybe. Online names often have a hidden meaning, they've been chosen by the user for a reason (excepting of course names like Dave72). They hold a key to a hidden part of someone's personality.
Is it because online, under a different name, people feel less inhibited? With a pseudonym, is it easier to be more honest, to reveal more about yourself? It was and is, for me.
A very interesting question and one I'll be thinking about some more!
P.S. Of course, you're getting one online name for me here. I wonder if you can actually work out who I am?
I'm not sure if I could have identified you hadn't you told me. Maybe with the next post under a different screen name? But then I'll guess it's you because you've done it before.
Let me recount a situation that perhaps brought to an end a previous engagement.
I was engaged to a girl. She and I friended each other on Facebook. She was a student of mine. As a teacher and personal coach - taken as such by some of the students at that time - I used to respond to other students who happened to be mainly girls. In one reply, I addressed the correspondent with her screen name - I can't exactly remember what it was. I didn't want to use her real name, which I knew, because I thought that I would be keeping a distance by that. My fiancee then took that as a sign of intimacy - perhaps flirting - and started questioning me about it.
I don't remember how long we remained engaged after that incident, but I can say it was one of the reasons why we broke up and why that question was - and still is - pressing to me.